Looking Back

Going in to community auditions, I had no idea what to expect. In fact, I’d never even seen the show before. I’d only sent in a demo CD because my mom drove me nuts and bugged me about it for weeks. (By the way mom, thanks for that…good idea…) when I got to my first shoot, I was clueless as to how the day was going to work. Everything seemed so hectic and there were people spread out everywhere…nervous contestants, stressed staff members (that’s you, Chris: p) anxious friends, family and supporters. I have a hard time remembering what my feelings were that day, if I was nervous or anxious or excited, I’m not sure, all I know, is that I at least wanted to walk away from that shoot, with one star. And I got that one star…and three extras to go with it.

As I finished my first performance of Etta James’s “At Last”, I felt I had truly given it my all and was proud of my performance. Turns out, the judges liked it too, and I won my first Star of The Day. I was happy that I’d achieved my goal of winning one star, but I didn’t have time to celebrate. I was off to preparing for my next performance of Bonnie Raitt’s, “Something to Talk About” where I’d shown the judges a different side of me, the fun, upbeat, edgy side, the side that won me my second Star of The Day.  For my third performance, I was up against Donna-Lee DePrille, who truthfully, I was intimidated by. I had seen Donna perform prior to Community Auditions, and I knew she was great. After I heard her performance of “Piece of my Heart” and heard that she got three solid 10’s for scores, I thought to myself “well…today’s been fun, at least I’ll go home with 2 stars…” but as I walked on stage, it hit me, I didn’t WANT to be done yet and as I performed Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Man”, I knew I couldn’t give up now. And I didn’t. I landed myself three perfect tens, and a third star, with that performance.

Now here’s where things got nerve wracking. I was going into hair and makeup, when I realized the band and I didn’t have anymore songs prepared. I had no idea what I was going to, until band member Mitch Chakour, asked me if I knew the Bonnie Raitt classic, “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” I did know the song; I just wasn’t prepared for it. So, unsure of the structure of the song, I performed it, my own way. And I won my fourth star. This meant I was going to the finals at The MGM Grand.

The next month or so before the finals was the longest month of my life. I made list, after list, after list, of what songs I wanted to prepare for the show. I downloaded, analyzed and learned tons of new songs, before coming to the conclusion, 4 days before the show that I was going to perform “Son of a Preacher Man” again. The judges loved that performance, and I had the most fun doing it, so why not give it another shot? (I want to credit my mom for this advice, again…thanks ma!) The day before the shoot, I did a live interview on Good Morning Connecticut, and did an interview with a local newspaper. I spent the rest of that day at home in the mirror, yes, I’ll admit, using a hairbrush as a mic, practicing my song, resting and picking out the perfect outfits to wear (shoes, not being an issue…because who wears shoes on stage? That’s just weird…) and remembering not to be nervous, and just to have fun. I’d made it that far, and was already very content with what I’d accomplished.

       It was the morning of the finals, I was up at a ridiculous hour, getting things together, rushing around the house, exhausted and cranky (I am NOT particularly a ray of sunshine in the morning…) and running out the door to make the 2 hour drive to Foxwoods. When I got there, I stood in awe of the stage I’d be performing on. And thought about not only how huge it is, but how many incredible performers had been on it before. It was hitting me. This was real. A good chunk of the day was “hurry up! and wait!” All of the contestants I’m sure, will back me up when I say even though we were all so anxious and exhausted and bored from waiting, we all had a blast backstage, and time went pretty fast.

As the day progressed, the show was finally getting underway. Branden Wilson had won the first finals episode and was going to the championship. My episode was next. As I stood in the wings of the stage and watched Daniel Taylor and Megan Harney perform, I was blown away by the talent they both displayed. Running on 100% adrenaline and excitement, as the intro to my song began, I walked on stage and gave the performance my all. Proud of myself and happy with the judges’ comments, I was ready for the results. And then, before I knew it, I was one step closer to making a record and owning a brand new 2010 Subaru Impreza…I had won the final, and was going to the championship.

       It was about half an hour before the championship. I was in the dressing room with Branden Wilson and Lisa Bello, getting my hair and makeup done, and being interviewed by Justin Guarini, an American Idol contestant who as a little girl, I idolized. Everything was so surreal, I told myself not to get my hopes up, or to form any expectations, because I knew that anything could happen. But as I thought about all I had accomplished so far, how far I’d come in the competition, all the great people I met, and the incredible opportunity I was being given, I realized, I had never wanted anything so bad. It was down to the wire. Branden, Lisa, Louie Bello and I had all sat down and wished each other luck. This was it, the last time to impress the judges before they came to a decision. 

Branden performed, blew me away. I have never seen such talent and maturity in a fourteen year old, and I truly admire him as a person and performer. Lisa was next, the way that girl connects with the song she’s singing? Incredible.  I was next, I remember whispering to myself “you got this…you can do this”, and then walking on stage. I’ll be honest, after that point I don’t remember much, I don’t physically remember performing, at all. And I hardly remember any of the judge’s comments, except maybe something about “is your grandmother single?” other than that, I was in such a zone, that I hardly have any memory of actually being on stage in the moment. After I finished, Louie performed, and as always, was so great, bringing talent, and some humor to his performance. And that was it. The only thing left to do, was to hear one of our names be announced as the winner. The four of us formed such a strong support system for each other and were all so proud of each other, even though we all wanted to win, we would be happy for each other no matter what.

       As we stood on stage awaiting the results, it seemed to take forever. Every minute seemed like an hour, until finally the judges made a decision. I stood hand in hand with Lisa, Louie and Branden, anxious, nervous, and a whole bunch of other emotions, when I heard Ramiro say “and the winner is…Liv Gaines” at first, I could hardly react. I’m not sure if I actually comprehended that I had won, until about a minute or two later. Confetti was falling, people were screaming, my mom was crying, my grandma was crying, my sister, and amazing friends were jumping up on stage to hug me. My hands were full with acrylic Star trophies, and CAR KEYS. Cameras were flashing, every thing was crazy and amazing and just mayhem. For the next few weeks, I was doing local press work and interviews, getting cards and phone calls and receiving so much support from friends, family, even people I had never met.

       Now every time I start my car, (who my friends and I have named Candy…yes, after you, Candy O’Terry…) I think of how without community auditions and everyone involved, from the judges, hosts, crew members, producers, band members, down to the camera men, sound technicians and hair and makeup artists, none of this would’ve been possible. I would’ve never gotten this far and would’ve never started living my dream and making it a reality if it weren’t for this opportunity, and everyday I am eternally grateful.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 2:27 pm and is filed under show. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.